Where is my foundation?
Today, day 43 and I can feel the routine burning. The wheels are turning with nowhere to go. My level of frustration is higher today and the reason is shame. I am ashamed of myself for repeating this same pattern again and again. Last night I made an apple pie for my colleagues. In my last post I have a whole box full of freshly picked apples that I turned in this apple pie – want a piece?
Looks good right?
Imagine that I can make such a pie and yet, I didn’t eat any of it! Nope it has so much sugar and flour that I don’t dare to put it near my mouth. With that said, I know it is delicious and I know it is a drug with 200 + grams of sugar in the dough and the apples.This pie, I made with no temptation until today while watching them eat the pie. Because I know how good it is, FUCK – I want a piece. I have enough discipline not to eat it but I am ashamed that I am at this point again where I must drive hard to discipline myself. Add to this that I know my type of person, I can eat freely maybe the realization of that is a blessing in itself.
Driving home from work, listening to the Foo Fighters and wondering what, if any, lessons have I learned from my current experience and how am I ensuring that I will not just fall back into the same?
Tough to know …
I think I have learned and I am trying to practice the following:
- 100 days was not enough and I needed to go longer
- This time I am going 1 year logging my weight everyday and full 90% plant based diet.
- This is my goal that I have set and I am on day 43.
- Think lifetime and break it into smaller deliverables
- I need to built into my life more food varieties and I am searching to find exciting plant based meals.
- Exercise is important and not for losing weight. Exercise is good to help release stress and ease the burdens of life.
- It can also accelerate weight loss but I have lost a ton of weight without exercising at all.
- Getting the excess weight off is the top priority.
- I know I carry my weight well and also people are use to me being fat and this makes it easier with expectations and what not.
- Getting the excess weight off comes first. When I get down to where my BMI is below obese there is a strategy to employ
- Don’t be too hard on myself
- The mobile phone and my computer are not my “friends” they are if anything my nemesis. Screen time must be matched 1:1 with family time and/or exercise.